Moving Forward

I am trying to move forward in my life, despite having another panic attack that sent me to urgent care yet again.  I feel ashamed of these panic attacks, embarrassed about them.  I shake uncontrollably in my arms and sometimes my legs, my teeth chatter, and it’s noticeable to others.

We were cheering on Michigan State football Friday night when I had my panic attack at my sister’s.  I had been feeling anxious before we went, but really started feeling panicky after we had a rich dessert.  My parents noticed and asked if I wanted to go home, and I said yes because I didn’t have my Ativan with me.  So I went home and took an Ativan; when that didn’t work, I took another per my doctor’s orders an hour later.  To my dismay the attack was still going on so my parents drove me to urgent care.  The doctor there said I could take a third Ativan so I did and the attack went away.

I am doing some reading on panic attacks because I believe that education is power.  I got some books from the library and plan to buy some as well. 

I saw a therapist Friday and she is going to refer me to a DBT group.  DBT stands for Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.  This group is educational, designed to teach participants how to handle strong emotions like anxiety and anger.  I am looking forward to attending the DBT class.  One of the educators is going to call me.  I also have lots of therapy and doctor appointments scheduled.

Another thing I plan to do is cut out caffeine as much as I can, as it can lead to anxiety.  Since I won’t be working for a while after this Friday, I can do that.  My mom and I walk a lot and that also helps me keep down anxiety.

We have begun training my replacement last Friday.  She is another contract worker, a transfer from another department, and I think she’ll do just fine.  She is bright and asks lots of questions. 

I don’t know when or if I’ll be able to work again but I plan to take things one day at a time and continue my writing no matter what.  I have some guest blog posts I’m working on.


6 thoughts on “Moving Forward

  1. It’s good you will get professional help! You will heal, I’m sure! You recognized the problem and you decided to take care of it. That’s a big step! My thoughts are with you!

  2. Panic Attacks are no fun – that’s for sure. When I first had panic attacks and chest pains, I thought I was dying – having a heart attack. When tests revealed anxiety, I too felt embarrassment. But, I’ve learned strategies to help when I’m struggling with anxiety. Because of this, I haven’t had a panic attack in years.

    You were wise to get some books. Education is power. The more you know about them, the less you’ll fear them. Cutting caffeine and walking are both excellent ideas. I’ve felt overwhelmed lately myself and have cut out caffeine for now. I regularly exercise for my general health – but I began in order to help control anxiety. It’s a positive way to release that energy.

    As a friend above said, it’s an illness like any other. Some of us are more prone to anxiety, panic attacks, etc. than others. Different strategies and medicines work for different people. I’m sure you will discover what works for you, Lisa. Saying a prayer for you!

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