Midlife transition

On September 29 I will be 45 years old.  I am in the midst of a midlife transition (I prefer that to “midlife crisis”) and have decided to get rid of things that don’t suit me anymore and to make some positive changes.  I am beginning to see that I am more spiritual than religious, much more liberal than conservative. 

I have been unhappy with my church so I decided to leave, and to chart my own spiritual path.  Currently I am following a combined path of 12-step spirituality, Asatru (Norse paganism), and Wicca.  I celebrated a sabbat (pagan holiday) for the first time in months.  This one was Lammas, the harvest of fruit and grain, and the end of summer.  I also wrote and celebrated a new moon ritual and a menstrual ritual.

Unfortunately not everyone in my life is accepting of me and my spirituality.  Today I unfriended someone I’d been friends with for 25 years because he cannot accept my spiritual path as equal to his own.  He said some offensive things to me yesterday on the phone and this morning on Facebook, so he’s gone from my life. 

I have decided to vote no on the marriage amendment in Minnesota because I a) believe that same-sex marriage should be equal to opposite-sex marriage; and b) am a bisexual.  I fully expect I will lose friends over this as well.

Today I took off work to get new glasses.  I’m almost ready for bifocals (egad) but not quite.  Maybe later.  I ordered some new glasses at Lenscrafters and they should be in within 2 weeks.

I also decided to investigate going back to school.  I seek writing jobs and may get a Bachelors in Journalism.  I am looking at the University of Minnesota’s program.

I also want to move out of my parents’ house within the next 1-2 years.  I want to get a couple of cats as well.

Watch out world–here I come!


12 thoughts on “Midlife transition

  1. Lisa, I applaud your honestly and vulnerability in this post. They are (what I believe to be) marks of a good writer. 45 is a great age to look at life and make changes.

    However, accepting you and agreeing with your changes are two different matters. I accept you as a woman who has the right and authority to make her own choices. However, I warn you to be careful in those choices. The paths you have chosen are areas of spiritual and moral darkness (paganism, witchcraft and bisexuality). What appears to be freedom may become bondage. There is spiritual power there, but it is not a holy power.

    Again I accept who you are, Lisa, regardless of the path you choose and whether or not we agree. Do you accept who I am – whether or not we agree?

  2. Well done Lisa, it’s sad that in the 21st century people still see the old earth religions as dark. Perhaps because they were feminine based religions who held the earth we live on to be holy. I could go on and on but I would be preaching to the choir. Your bisexuality? How can actually loving or caring for the person you are with at the time lead you into spiritual darkness? You are a brave woman Lisa, I wish you well.

  3. Hey Lisa – Congratulations! You’ve got guts – and I admire this!! In EVERY kind of way!! Good luck and my thoughts are with you – spiritually! You’re a GREAT person!!

  4. Hello Lisa,
    Without reading any of the other comments, and after reading your answer back to me on Linked In, a few minutes ago, I decided to interrupt my bookkeeping and respond back to your email. I don’t know what happened at your church or why you were dissatisfied because you did not say. According to the posts that you posted about it, it sounded like a pretty cool church. But that is not so important at the moment. What is important, is you as a person, and I want you to know that I respect your wishes and desires to go the way you want to go.

    I am a Christian by choice and not because anyone hammered it into me, or because I felt forced to do it, because it was expected of me. I, personally, had my encounter with Jesus and for me that is the only way for me to go. After searching through my university years, reading Marxism, Jean Paul Satre, Neitschke und many more philosophers, I came to the same conclusions as the aufthor C.S. Lewis and for me the way I am going, is again, I say, the best way for me. It does not mean that I require everybody to walk my way. You see, real Christianity is a way of life. It is something that you live. You don’t have to tell anyone you are a Christian, because they see it in you. It doesn’t mean that I am a pushover, because I am not. Christianity is not a pushover philosophy, because it is not a religion. It is a way of life.

    You have made your decision for you, and I accept that. I am not going to try and change your mind. That is not why I am here on earth. I am here to walk the walk that I believe in, and that is in the love of Jesus, in a real and natural way, as I confront myself and interact with others. No matter what, I love you. You are a beautiful person.

    As far as your bisexuality is concerned, again I say I am heterosexual, but have family members who are not. It does not mean that I avoid them, because I don’t. I grew up with them, and it would hurt me dearly to not associate with them. Does it mean that I agree with their way of life? No, it does not mean that I agree, but it does mean that I respect their way of life and don’t go preaching to them. And yes we celebrate together and when I go home, I stay with one of my dearest friends who is lesbian, but we respect one another and one another’s choices of life.

    So, you will always be Lisa, the writer, who has made so much progress, since you have joined this group, and someone I have grown to love and still do. You are a person with choices, and I respect your choices, and you will not find me arguing with you, or breaking a friendship with you over your choices, unless they are harmful to me. And before I do that, you and I would have a girl to girl talk, because people are important to me. It is the heart that counts.

    I love you, Lisa, and I wish you the best on your way.

    • Hi Patricia, I tried to reply earlier and couldn’t. Let’s see how this goes. About church: I just realized that I am far more liberal on both religion and politics that they are and that it wasn’t a good fit. The pastors were talking from the pulpit about marriage and politics and I found I didn’t agree. So I’m exploring a pagan path again. I consider myself eclectic and have some Christian elements to my spirituality, and may go to a Christian church (although not this one) occasionally (like Christmas and Easter). My sister goes to a liberal Lutheran church which I have enjoyed in the past. I also want to attend and get involved with a Unitarian church which is open to people of all faiths, or of none. Thank you for loving me–I love you too and thanks for interrupting your day to comment on my blog.

  5. A high five from not so sunny England! I love the honesty in this post so just had to comment! (I’ve also answered one on LinkedIn) I had to laugh when I saw that someone had thought ‘ooh Pagan=Black magic and Whitchcraft’, ask a thousand Pagans what they believe you will get a thousand different answers, that for me is why it works! OK so I’m a little biased, but having said that one of my best mates is a Jehovahs Witness so go figure? As I said on LinkedIn, your true friends will accept you ‘warts and all’, any who want to enlighten you or argue your choices are not, in my opinion, your TRUE friends. It’s never to late to alter your path and explore new horizons, you go for it!
    BB P~

    • Thanks Peter for the support. I love England. Some of my ancestors came from there. You folks did a great job with the Olympics. I guest blog for the Loyalty Scheme Blog out of the UK. You are right–true friends will accept me (and have). BB, Lisa

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